Something That Happened Today

Just briefly before I get to more Amazon-Stuff:

I am trying to find a gym to join here.

Except, when I decided to walk into one gym today to ask about memberships I realised that I didn't know the appropriate way to say in Portuguese, 'So..I'm thinking about getting a gym membership.. What sort of plans do you have?' Does one cadastrar-se in an academia here? Do I ask to conhecer the gym? How do I say 'membership', again?

Brain freeze. Uh...eu quero...academia, I say. Como? says the blonde Brazilian gym-girl, 'pardon?'.
Eu quero...uma academia, I repeat.

Which sounds in English, I imagine, like 'Me...want...gym!'

Gym-girl

Cave-woman Shiva