1)
The I'm-Going-To-Die-Here
Phase:
OK, this phase could be said to have started in Australia while I was
planning my trip. This is where I thought I was going to be attacked by street
bandits at any minute in Sao Paulo. The month before I arrived here, I was 100%
convinced that I would die on the streets of Sao Paulo. I was 100% convinced
that I would be kidnapped. I dreamt about this more than a few times. I checked
my insurance policy and my bank to see if they had coverage for kidnappings (they did, but advised me not to advertise the fact, hah). When I got out of the Sao
Paulo airport I was shocked at the calmness of the carpark - perhaps nothing
would happen until we were on the road. From the backseat of the car during
that ride, I looked fiercely at pedestrians around the car through the tightly
rolled-up car windows, guessing which one might turn out to stick a gun to
my head while we were waiting for the lights to change. After a successful trip
to my new place, I felt slightly calmer. But I did spend the next four weeks
clutching my purse and never taking out my mobile phone on the street and,
perhaps, running from the bus stop to my house if it was late. I know it sounds
stupid. After a while I realized, hey, nothing has happened, and started to
relax. Shiva-Getting-Off-The-Plane sounds paranoid, right? Well, I had heard a
lot of horror stories about Sao Paulo, and had never been to South America. Add
that to me just being a worry-wort and this is what you get!
2)
The Why-Is-Everyone-So-Horny?
Phase:
While still experiencing my first phase, I spent a good month shocked by
how...how can I put this...horny (!) people are here. I would explain to my new
Brazilian friends how the concept of ficar was so foreign to me. Of
course casual relationships exist in Australia and in other countries - but as
far as I know we don't approach them with the ease and detachment that
Brazilians normally do. I would explain, when Australians wanted to talk about ficando
they would not have the ease of resorting to one simple verb like Brazilians do
- they would akwardly explain how they were kind-of seeing someone, having a
casual, physical thing with someone, you know. Another shock was the
shamelessness of strangers in the street here. Random men in the street shout gostosa!
(this is hard to translate - think: delicious and sexy at the same time) or linda (beautiful) to women who they decide are
deserving. The other day, someone told me parabéns! (congratulations!) on the sidewalk. Some do
not shout but instead mutter it quietly as they pass you while walking. Others
lick their lips. Drivers of cars and motorcyclists constantly honk their horns
to... (I suppose?) praise women on the street. Brazil is a great place to be if
you are a woman with low self-esteem. At the beginning of my stay here,
this whole attitude was a big shock to me. It was super-weird. Now, I just
expect it.
3)
The
Aw-Everyone-Is-So-Friendly-And-I-Love-Brazil! Phase:
Typical-Shiva-Quotations
during this phase included: "I love Brazil!", "Why would I ever
want to go back to Australia?", and "It's so easy to make friends
here". I was so happy, everything was exciting and fun, and I had lots of
nice new friends. It is true that Brazilians are very welcoming to foreigners -
they are generally very curious about them because they are quite rare. And
instead of doing what an Australian would do with his/her curiosity (i.e. be
too shy to ever say anything), Brazilians loudly ask whatever questions pop
into their head, usually: Do you eat rice and beans in Australia? Do you
have a boyfriend? Where do you live? Do you have a football team here yet? Do
you have saudades for your family? Is it hard to learn Portuguese?
while making side-comments on your appearance and weight, until they become
exhausted. Another thing you just get used to! I also fell super in-love with
the University of Sao Paulo - with the class offerings, with the amazing
opportunities, with the extracurricular activities, with the student life - and
decided that I really wanted to stay here.
4)
The Shit-I-Am-Graduating! Phase:
This was, as it may appear,
the phase where I realised that I had to get my act together to prepare for
what I would do after graduating. Why didn't I think about it before? I had a
boyfriend in Australia, and had planned that after this year I would go back to
Australia to do my Honours year, which was an optional extension of my program.
When that didn't work out, I decided that I would try to enter into a Master's
program here at USP. But this put me into a frenzy of trying to put together a
research project – Sure, I have had some ideas since I’ve started studying
linguistics, but I wasn’t ready to present a proposal to a supervisor. In
Australia we do this in the second half of our Honours year, or in the case of
a Master’s, in the second year of the Master’s degree. Here, the proposal is a
condition of entrance to the Master’s program. So I scrambled to the library to
grab a bunch of linguistics books, and spent a month worrying that I might make
wrong decisions about my potential specialization, and very slowly gathering up
the courage to talk to a professor whose research I was interested in,until…
5)
The
I-Fell-In-Love-With-A-French-Man Phase:
...(which I hope, is not really a phase^^) where the idea of a Master’s here
became logistically impossible for our relationship and so morphed into
Shiva-Trying-To-Find-A-Job-For-The-Next-Six-Months-While-Dreaming-Of-Europe.
During this time, the semester ended, we went to the Amazon for three weeks, and
came back to Sao Paulo to
start looking for jobs. I definitely wasn’t expecting this to happen, at least not in Brazil (he he he).I am currently going through a phase, which some describe as the Regression/Isolation Phase of Culture Shock. The Honeymoon Period is over, definitely over. No more honeymoon, my friends, no, no. I am frustrated and can barely remember the last time that I wasn’t. It is not so exaggerated to the point where I think that Australia is perfect – again, definitely not. But I am experiencing all of the other ‘symptoms’. They say it lasts up to 6-8 weeks? I’m on the 8th week mark – hopefully I’ll pass through this soon.
Hopefully getting my visa stuff over and done with will give some relief, and I think I will quit my translating job and stick to teaching. The hours are bad, the pace is stressful for me, and I get depressed staying indoors all day (with the sounds of construction blasting into my ears as I work). Teaching is fun, especially in groups.
Oh, look at me, all narcissistic. It seems that this blog has turned into a blog of Shiva’s-Emotional-Drainage more than a blog about my experience as a foreigner in Brazil. But… this is my experience, as a foreigner, in Brazil.
So, I’m heading to Paraguay on Sunday to get my visa – let’s hope it actually goes okay (unlikely, like most things here). About an hour ago I went to take photos for my visa application. I look like Saddam Hussein before his execution (as if those photos were real anyway, ha..ha..ha). An indication of what I went through to get this visa... Don’t disappoint me, Paraguay… I’m exhausted, exhausted. ESGOTADA – I looked that Portuguese word up just now. That’s what I am. Forget Carnival – I haven’t even had time to think about that. I’m crazy…I’ve gone crazy here… I’ve gone crazy…
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