Eight Jobs That Only Exist In Brazil

Writing about the cobradors yesterday made me think about the fact that there are some jobs that only seem to exist in Brazil. Brazil is a world leader in unnecessary employment. It's a good and a bad thing; I'm no expert in economics but I'm pretty sure all these extra jobs have played an important role in the improving redistribution of wealth in Brazil. But at the same time, there are many times where I simply think hey, this is just going a little bit overboard, isn't it? Brazilians will not bat an eyelid over these jobs; they will be totally used to seeing them in their daily lives - even I don't find them remarkable anymore. But other Australians and foreigners would be surprised to come to Brazil and see:

1) The Flanelinha: This is the guy that helps you park your car on the street. He stands behind the car, encouraging you to keep going, keep going or just a little to the right. He may or may not be employed by a company  - but is probably not. 

2) The Gym 'Motivator': This is a person employed by the gym to just hang out in the gym and excite people about the fact that they are exercising. For instance, the other night at the gym I asked a lady next to me when the Body Jam class was going to start because it was past the time on the schedule and nobody was in the room. She said, it starts in fifteen minutes. Let's go on the treadmill while you wait, hey? Go on, there it is, I'll turn it on for you, there you go - go, go on, get on it. Meanwhile I was thinking, hey lady, who the f*** are you? I just want to do Body Jam, not go on the boring treadmill. Luckily, then, my phone rang. Saved by the bell. These 'motivators' hang out in the weights and in the cardio room, to tell you what to do if you have questions. This is one unnecessary Brazilian job I guess I don't mind though, at least in the weights room.

3) The Xerox Man: This is the person who operates the very high-tech photocopying machine. He photocopies papers for you and puts your USB in the computer to print papers off. It is unthinkable for a Brazilian to operate a photocopying machine themself. You can generally find a Xerox Man every 100 metres.

4) The Man Who Wears a Sign Advertising Other Jobs: That is his job. I have not seen this one yet, but Guillaume swears that there are people who do this in the centre of Sao Paulo. We do not know the Portuguese word for this; any suggestions?

5) The Person Who Gives You a Consumption Card When You Walk Into The Bakery:  Many restaurants or 'bakeries' here are kind of like big buffets. When you walk in the entrance, this employee hands you a 'consumption card', on which all of your purchases are either ticked off or, in the case of the electronic ones, scanned onto the card. If you lose it, you pay some outrageously large price. It is the same in bars. You present the card to the cashier and pay on your way out. Which brings me to (6)...

6) The Cashier: In any shop or bakery or restaurant, there will be a person whose job is exclusively to take money and give change. Nothing else. It's weird, right?

7) The Security Guard For The Street: There are security guards everywhere here. This is so unfamiliar for an Australian like me. They are everywhere you go - university, the train station, the bank, the shopping centre... Sometimes whole streets band together with a security guard just for their street. They stand there, observing their surroundings during their ten-hour-shift and are generally used for giving directions - similarly to Brazilian police officers. I have never seen either (security guards nor police officers) reprimanding anyone while I have been here. Except on TV. But that's Globo. Fuck Globo.

8) The Cobrador: Remember him, from all that talk about buses? The cobrador also acts as a human indicator for the bus - using hand signals to show the way the bus will turn and getting aggressive motorcyclists to back off and make way for the bus in heavy traffic. His other duties include: letting the bus driver know that he can close the back doors again and turning a blind-eye to the Brazilian parents who pick up their clearly-over-ten-years-old-children and pop them over the turnstile. If there is a soccer game on, he also provides the radio on his mobile phone for the whole bus to listen to the commentary. This would have to be my next favourite Unnecessary-Brazilian-Job. They are quite useful, because they know the bus lines very well.

There you go, a possible explanation of the improvement in the Brazilian economy from a linguistics student...