How To Catch A Bus in Brazil

I have been super busy in the past week since I got back from Iguassu Falls. I had a few interviews: one was for a coordinator position at a translation company, and two were for English teaching jobs. I also did a 'test' translation and got offered a job as a full time translator (Portuguese--> English). I also have had more and more private students. And the craziest part: I got 3 job offers on the same day. I think what I will decide on is the full time translating job (11-7pm) and then teaching in the school that is close by (8-10pm) on weekdays. I'm going tomorrow to the translation company just to meet with the boss and check the company is trustworthy and then I'll try it out for a month. I'm excited about this job because by translating you learn so much - but I'm also a bit unsure about myself because I have never done it professionally before. But we'll see how this first month goes. Yesterday I also did a voice sample at a recording studio for possible work in  recording dialogues in ESL books for publishing companies. 


All this job negotiating has meant a lot of catching buses and metro around town. 


Catching a bus in São Paulo is an art. It involves various skills: excellent core strength - to stop yourself from losing your balance and falling over while the bus weaves around motorcyclists as it rides up and down the hilly terrain; hunting skills - to successfully find a pole to grip onto through the mass of bodies surrounding you; fantastic timing - to know which few seconds you can take your grip off of the poles to put your bus ticket back in your wallet; spatial awareness - to get past the catraca (the turnstile) while carrying anything larger than a purse;  and good estimation skills - to know when you should start making your way through the crowds toward the back of the bus to get off (too late, and you might not get off; too early, and you will be stuck clinging to the inside of the bus as people angrily request licença to get past you to the door).


This may sound a bit strange to people in Australia. After all, the buses here are quite different from the ones there. All the buses that I have been on in Brazil (excluding in the Amazon) have been the same: you board at the front. The front section is separated from the back by a turnstile where the cobrador (the person who takes the money) also sits. You get off of the bus generally at the very back (after the turnstile). Old people, disabled people, and obese people get off at the front part and don't pay for the ride.


My first reaction to the cobrador was 'gosh, another one of those unnecessary jobs that only exist in Brazil!' ...but I think it's at least a little bit more sensible here - after all, Brazil is slightly more populous than Australia, right? A full bus in Australia is an empty bus in Brazil. Somebody's got to take the money from all of those people.


I remember being shocked at the violent bumpiness of the bus rides when I first arrived. It was discussing this with my friend Rafael that I first learnt the Portuguese word for 'rollercoaster' - montanha russa (which means, literally, 'Russian mountain' -  there's one for you, Valentina, if you're reading this^^).


Another remarkable thing about Brazilian buses is what I like to call The Seat of Death.


If you are Brazilian, I'll give you time to realise which seat I am talking about...


































Got it? Yes. It is the seat right at the back of the bus, in the middle, generally placed higher than the seats in front because it is on top of the wheels, where there are no poles to hold on to to stop yourself from flying into the crowd if the bus jolts around (a highly likely occurrence). You sit there, you may as well have thrown yourself off a bridge. You will die. When I first came, I remember going to sit there and being told by Rafael NOT TO. I avoided the seat until a couple of months later, when, without thinking, I sat there with another friend beside me. The bus started moving and if my friend had not caught me...I would not be writing this today. These days, I have learnt my lesson - I am not tempted by that seat, however alluringly empty it may appear in peak hour traffic when you are fighting to stand upright on a bus full of people hot and sweaty from work. It's just not worth it, kids.


Also, here in Brazil, there is no such thing as a 'bus schedule'. You just go to the bus stop and hope for the best!


Somehow, it works...